struggling to be human

I ran across this recently and laughed because… YES. It’s so true, right?

But then I got to thinking: WHY is this so familiar?

I don’t think it’s the food part — I think it’s what comes afterward.

Feeling terrible about ourselves.

Brené Brown makes a distinction between guilt (“I did something bad”) and shame (“I am bad”). And I think a lot of us slide pretty quickly from one into the other.

“I am bad” can lead to self-criticism, embarrassment, social withdrawal and perfectionism.

We carry around this idea that we should be able to navigate all of life perfectly.

Eat all the right foods. Exercise 3 days a week without fail. Never miss a beat in our relationships. Always say the right thing.

And when we do (inevitably) drop the ball, we feel miserable.

But we’re human, which is oftentimes not easy.
And part of being human is screwing up sometimes.

It happens to every. single. one. of us.

I’ve been studying and practicing Ayurveda for years now, and one thing I know for certain is that beating ourselves up isn’t particularly helpful.

Awareness can be.
Curiosity too.

And I think the point of feeling shame can actually be a pivot point if we’re open to it. We’ve just done something our higher selves weren’t aligned with, and we can stop to ask:

“Why did this happen?”

Was I tired? Lonely? Bored? Overwhelmed? Grieving? Angry? Mindless in my actions?

What was going on underneath the behavior?

Then we have a different story on our hands:

“I fell off the exercise wagon because I’m exhausted after work and my kid’s been a handful this week.”

“I ate takeout every night for the last month because I’ve been overwhelmed caring for my aging parent.”

“I went shopping again because I was feeling lonely and sad.”

The goal isn’t to do everything perfectly.

The goal is to understand ourselves a little better. To gently notice what’s happening underneath our habits and choices. And to make adjustments - as we can - to return to actions that are aligned with our highest self.

Ayurveda wants us to be healthy, yes. But also to be happy and to live with greater ease.

And that does not include getting it right all the time.

It does include caring for ourselves, loving ourselves, even when we screw up.